Bummed Out!

Well, I was quick to post how well Bug was doing with his shield. Turns out, not as well as we needed. Friday night he slept really badly. I could tell it was bothering him because every time I picked him up he would rub it on my shoulder. I obviously couldn't get it out at 2:30 in the morning by myself since Jeremy was at work so I decided that we would take it out when he got up the next day.

When we attempted that, things went south quickly. We fought with Landon for 20 minutes trying to get that stupid thing out. Held him down, pryed his eyes open forcefully and put the suction cup on the shield numerous times with no success. It was devestating to him, and to us. Jeremy's mom was there to help us hold him and got a first hand look at how traumatic it is. So I finally decided that was enough and we called the occularist at home. Thank goodness she gave us her home number. She came over and after a little difficulty removed the shield. We discovered we had accidentally turned it in a different direction when we were trying to remove it. After all that we decided that Landon has been through enough and we should just go ahead and have his eye removed. That will be the only way for sure that we will know he is not in any discomfort. I cannot continue to put him through this trauma. To look into his little blue eyes and see the fear everytime we come at him to hold him down truly causes my heart deep pain. I cannot and will not do it anymore.

We have an appointment with his plastic surgeon on the 27th of this month. I am going to call back and see if we can get an earlier date. I have a lot of emotions going on. I am dissapointed that the shield didn't work. It looked so good on him. I am frustrated that we are still dealing with this disaster 5 months later. And I am sad that I have put him through so much trauma over the last 2 weeks when we probably should have just had his eye removed when it was first presented as an option. But then I would have wondered if the shield would have worked. WHATEVER!! We'll have it removed and then FINALLY we will be done.

Your prayers are begged and appreciated. For Landon, for me, for Jeremy. We do sincerely appreciate them. I'm too tired to look for a scripture right now, but know that we have not lost our faith. God will take care of our baby and us. Thanks for following. We love yall.