sacrifice

These are the pictures of Bug in the water spouts at the zoo. He loved it and had tons of fun as you can see. He's been so super grumpy and clingy this past week. He hates it when I work extra and I have this past week and will this week also. Christmas is coming up and when he gets a little bigger and realizes this, he'll be thrilled I'm working extra :)

My cousin's reception was last night. I got all dressed up and frilly and headed that way. Five minutes into the drive there, Landon fell asleep in the car. He hadn't had a nap all day. I was at the reception for an hour! I have learned as a mother, you have to pick your battles. Fighting a grumpy, tired toddler in front of 50 people was not one I wanted to fight. We were at home and in bed by 9:30. Before I had Landon I would have been there until they kicked me out. The margaritas were fantastic and there were a lot of people there I wanted to visit with that I hadn't seen in a while. Hence the title of this post.... sacrifice. I knew my baby needed to come home and go to bed. So I said bye to everyone "it was nice seeing ya (for 5 minutes!)" I have a child that lives and dies by his schedule and Lord help us if we veer off track. I know... those of you who know me well know that I need my sleep too! I have only myself to blame :) He's worth every ounce of fight he puts up!

His stitch popped open Sat. It's a little creepy looking for those who aren't used to seeing yucky medical stuff. The conformer they attached his muscles to really fills out his socket. It doesn't look near as empty as it did before they removed his eye, which sounds really strange. I can't wait until he gets his prosthetic!

Have a great week!

All better!

Bug's post op visit went well. Jeremy informed Dr. Yen of our very distressfull evening the day of surgery and he was surprised. He said he didn't expect that Landon would be in that much pain and he apologized. He understood each child is different he said, but that he shouldn't have had that much pain. Well I wish I could have had him lug my baby's 30 pound self around for 12 hours with no break while he screamed and thrashed in his arms! Actually he was very nice about it, but I still think they should admit children that can't verbalize how much pain they're in. At least for one night!

His patch didn't quite make it the full 4 days. He drenched it in the bath tub on Saturday night. Me being the germaphobic nurse/mom that I am, decided to take it off so the nasty "bug" bath water wouldn't get it infected. The swelling was pretty significant the next morning but that was to be expected. The whole idea of the patch was to decrease the swelling. Dr. Yen was fine with it and we are moving right along. We go back in 3-4 weeks to see him and he'll say whether or not we're ready to go see Robin the occularist again!

Other than that, we finally got a break from the hot weather and humdity! It feels like fall. Supposed to be in the 40's in the morning when I get off and I am super excited.

We took Bug and his cousin Hayden to the zoo on Wed. They were adorable together! They rode in the wagon we borrowed from Miller and held hands. They loved all the animals and then at the very end we discovered there was a little water park where the water squirted up from the ground at all different spots. They were DRENCHED from head to toe! Landon had more fun at that zoo trip than he's ever had before. We called it a day after that and he crashed in the car.

We are doing well. Just hanging out and spending time together. I love my family to death. There is nothing else I would rather do or anywhere else I'd rather be than with my two boys! Thanks for keeping up with us. Zoo pictures to follow!!

Rough ending!

 Let me preface this post by saying this surgery was waaaay worse than what we were expecting. Our baby hurt like I have never seen him hurt before. And it broke me. That being said we are so incredibly glad it is over. So let me get to the details....

He did fabulous during surgery. No unexpected problems. Dr. Yen mentioned how incredibly small his eye had become already. He said that was not unusual either. We waited an incredibly long time for them to take us back to recovery to see him. It started to make me very nervous so we asked what was taking so long. When they finally took us back they asked us not to touch or stimulate him because he was still very out of it. Boy was he! So we sat with him for a while until they really woke him up. Even after that he was really good. About 30 minutes after he woke up he quickly became inconsolable. We tried everything to distract him. When none of that worked we gave him Tylenol with Codeine. When that didn't work we gave him Morphine. Finally we were able to get some milk down him and they sent us home. We were in recovery for about 3 hours. That's a long time for him. The real problems started at home...

2 hours after the Morphine he became inconsolable again. So we got his Lortab filled and gave him a dose of that. So by now he has a lot of narcotics in him; and he's still inconsolable. I could not stand to see him like that any more. He wanted me to hold him, but not touch him. Walk with him, but not sit down. He would sleep for 2 minute intervals and then cry hysterically. This made me call the physician on call and she told us to head back to the TCH Er. Thank goodness I work there. We were in a room in about 30 minutes. I was so incredibly greatful since the wait there can be up to 10 hrs at times. After forever they finally put in an IV started him on fluids and gave him IV pain medication throughout the night. It was a very unexpected stay. Not to mention uncomfortable. We were almost at 24 hours awake before we were finally able to get some rest. We were very unprepared for the pain he experienced. I know that each child is different but this was Landon's 6th time under anesthesia and they kept trying to say that that was what was causing him to act like that. Mommy knows best. 

All in all it was a horrible experience. But we are so incredibly glad that it is over. They discharged us at about 10 this morning after they saw him running down the hall in a toy car. He woke up and had 2 sippy cups of milk, 1 1/2 bananas, and a whole hash brown from McDonalds for breakfast. He was starving after not eating for so long. Despite all of this he has been wonderful today. He's back to my baby Bug! I have never seen a baby struggle like he has this year and bounce back so vivaciously. His little smile just lights me up inside. He is truly my  little hero. 

So we head back to his doctors office on Monday. His patch is huge as you can see. He has already found a way to get his finger in there behind it. Sneaky little thing! The patch should come off on Monday as long as he doesn't get it off first. He's been really good with it so far. The stitch they put in to hold his lids together should stay until it dissolves in about a month. We will start talking to the occularist soon to set up an appointment to make the mold for his eye. I am so super excited about that. Thank you to those who have been praying with us and for us over these last several months. You'll never know the appreciation we have for you. Keep the prayers coming. We can never have enough! 

less than 8 hours..

So here I sit at work waiting to get off to attempt to go home and get some sleep before Bug's big day tomorrow. I agreed to work for someone for 4 hours prior to knowing his surgery date. Then I figured it wouldn't matter because I probably won't sleep anyway. Last night we met at our friend's house from church and our wonderful lifegroup prayed for us and Landon. It was awesome and whenever the little anxiety bug starts to eat at me, I think of all of the amazing prayers that went up in his name and I feel more peaceful.

I'm sitting here thinking of all of the hardships that we have gone through this year. It FINALLY seems to be coming to an end. God continues to show us new things each day about our lives. I am truly excited for where our next journey in life will take us. Now that we have learned how to rely completely on Him, i know we can get through anything.

So it should take about an hour to remove his eye. It amazes me that it only takes an hour to remove an organ, no matter how small that organ may be :) I am hoping to be home by 1 or so. I am going to take our camera so I can snap a few pics of him in his wagon ride to the throne (or the operating room). I'm not usually the cheesy camera mom with things like this but it's a big day for our Bug! I will post as soon as I get the chance. I'm sure I will try to nap at some point tomorrow. He always seems to be VERY clingy after surgery. As understandable as this is, it can be very trying after several days. Please pray for zero post-op discomfort. The surgery assistant said today that the big thing we will notice is bloody tears. That is because even though the eye is gone, the tearducts still hydrate the socket. She also said that they use some pretty strong numbing medications on the muscules that they have to manipulate so he should be okay for the first couple of days. Post-op pain is ALWAYS the worst on day 2 or 3. So please be in prayer about that.

We are so ready for this to be over. And soon, it all will be. We love you guys. Thanks for following and praying with us. If your awake at 9:30 tomorrow morning, say a little prayer for our Bug as he ascends the throne! (operating bed)

4 days and counting...

So it's been a good week. Landon has played hard and enjoyed the nice weather. He has kept us very busy chasing him all around the house. He has discovered a new word he likes... "teeth." With his ultra obsessive behavior towards his toothbrush this is no big surprise! My mom also taught him a new phrase.. "I eat!" but it sounds more like "Ah eeeeeaat!" It comes out very country twang-ish. Oh yea I forgot to mention his other new word.. "Bible" aka "Biiiiiii-bul!" You gotta love the emphasis. I guess he finally picked up this word since we are constantly using it to try to exercise the demons out! HEE HEE just joking folks!

So Jeremy is super excited since the Horns spanked the Sooners! This makes me very happy as well since I don't have to watch him sulk all week long. Actually since I worked Friday night I missed the game and I was bummed. I slept right through all the hoopin and hollerin' from the living room. He and Landon had on their matching UT jerseys and they were pretty cute. When I woke up and got ready for work they decided to replay the game between the two of them in my living room. If that is any preview as to what rough housing will look like in several years... I'm building an outdoor arena in our back yard! It was adorable to watch them.

So 4 more days until D-day! We are trying to stay positive to keep the anxiety at bay. Or maybe just I am. Lots of things going through my mind. I won't bore you with them. Just remember us this week and pray for my baby! We're almost finished with this hellacious year and we are all too excited about it. We'll keep ya posted as we move forward this week. We love yall!

My desire

The post below is from an interview with Rick Warren. If you have not read The Purpose Driven Life, I highly recommend it. His words and viewpoint in this interview are my heart's song. I can feel God pushing us toward this way of thinking despite all we have been through this year. Enjoy~


Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE 'PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE')
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD....Every moment, THANK GOD.