So Thankful!

Check me out!

My baby with his new eye!!

We went and had pictures with Santa on Monday. While we were in line, there was a very well mannered little boy in front of us. He was probably about 8 years old. When he noticed Landon didn't have an eye, he did his very best not to stare and point. Poor thing, he did not do a very good job. He very nonchalantly nudged his mother to point Landon out. I could tell she got embarassed and whispered something in his ear. Probably something about not staring. He couldn't help it. My saving grace in all of this is that Landon never knew any different. As a mom, it's hard to have your baby not look like all the other kids. Well, now he does!

As you can see his eye looks FANTASTIC! He was such a good boy yesterday while we were at Robin's office, and it was a very long day. She matched the color perfectly. The only minor adjustment we need to make is to "slim" the eye up a little on the bottom so it doesn't push his bottom lid out. Right now his new eye makes him look a little "bug eyed" (No pun intended :) But you have to look very hard to tell. 

He kept pointing to his eye yesterday and saying "eyes!" Yes baby you have 2 eyes now! So many things had to go just perfect for us to get into Robin's office yesterday and I truly believe God worked wonders for it to happen. For that I am eternally greatful to Him! I don't really get a Thanksgiving this year because I'm working tonight through Friday night. But I have so much to be thankful for. My baby was my hero yesterday. He was so brave and tough.  

If any of you thought I posted a lot of pictures before, just wait. Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. !

"He will yet fill your mouths will laughter and your lips with shouts of joy!"

Job 8:21

All I want for Christmas....

I know it has been a while since I've posted. We've been hopin! Landon had an eye appointment last week and Dr. Yen gave us the green light to meet with the occularist to get his eye made. The problem is "everyone wants an eye for Christmas!" That's what Robin (the occularist) told me. I replied " Yea, us too!" So we will be patiently (NOT) waiting by the phone on Tuesday to see if someone cancels. If not, we can't get an appointment until Dec. 23rd. I am diligently praying for God to fit us in on Tuesday. Not that I want someone else not to get their eye, but I really want Bug to get his. If we don't get in on Tuesday you're all getting Christmas pictures anyway! So don't worry. 

On another note, if anyone has a cure for "the terrible two's" please feel free to leave a comment. We've tried spanking, time out, getting on his level, please, NO NO!, and everything else under the sun. It doesn't seem to work too well. I'm open to anything. 

We hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving. Our prayers go out to you and yours. I'll be working and the boys will be traveling to Madisonville. We have so much to be thankful for this year. God is great! We love you guys!

The Pirate, the lion, and the pink monster!

Better late than never right! Halloween pictures for you to enjoy. Notice the "cush" ride the kids got. I think we had to WALK if I remember correctly. Isn't he the cutest one eyed pirate you ever saw? :)

A first time for everything....almost!

We got our first phone call from Landon's mother's day out program on Thursday. It went something like this....

Teacher: Mr. Hall, we have a little problem at school.

Jeremy:  What happened?

Teacher:  Landon took his eye out and handed it to me.

Jeremy: He did????

Teacher: Yes, what do I do with it?

Jeremy: Uhhhhh, just leave it out and we'll put it back in when he gets home.

Teacher:  Leave it out?

Jeremy: Yes.

Teacher: Okay.... Can he play on the playground?

Jeremy:  Yes, he can play on the playground!

I have a feeling this is one of MANY calls we will be getting throughout Landon's school  years. Until he wants a girlfriend that is. So although he didn't actually take his eye out, he took out the tissue expander that is supposed to stay in there in order to "prep" the tissue for his prosthetic. We tried like heck to get it back in and we all experienced de ja vu! (think scleral shell trauma). I talked to the doctor's office today and they said just leave it out. Any time he had with it is better than no time at all and it shouldn't affect the time in which he gets his prosthetic. 

I think it was bothering him anyway. He constantly had his fingers in his socket. I was constantly telling him "get your finger out of your socket!" He replied with a look of total annoyance! "duh mom, it itches!!"

Have a blessed weekend! We love yall.

"The joy of the Lord is my strength!"

~ Nehemiah 8:10

Briefly

We have been very busy lately. I've been working extra and Jeremy and I never seem to be on the same schedule lately. It stinks! He leaves for Vegas tomorrow evening. I have only seen him VERY briefly the last week or so. Our house is torn apart. They are coming to lay the laminate in the morning. I HATE having my house torn apart! Other than that things are peachy. Buggy has been in such a good mood lately. Very rambunctious and entertaining. I think he wants to live at the park... on the WEEEEE (aka: slide).

Halloween was so much fun. We pushed him and Miller around the block in the wagon. They munched on cookies for entertainment. Didn't care one bit about getting the candy as long as they had oreos! So needless to say walking around in the dark, (our streets were not very well lit) when we returned to the house they were both covered in chocolate oreos. SO cute. I'll post some pics when I get them off of my dad's camera.

Other than that we are staying busy and waiting for the cool weather to come. More updates soon and pics too!

sacrifice

These are the pictures of Bug in the water spouts at the zoo. He loved it and had tons of fun as you can see. He's been so super grumpy and clingy this past week. He hates it when I work extra and I have this past week and will this week also. Christmas is coming up and when he gets a little bigger and realizes this, he'll be thrilled I'm working extra :)

My cousin's reception was last night. I got all dressed up and frilly and headed that way. Five minutes into the drive there, Landon fell asleep in the car. He hadn't had a nap all day. I was at the reception for an hour! I have learned as a mother, you have to pick your battles. Fighting a grumpy, tired toddler in front of 50 people was not one I wanted to fight. We were at home and in bed by 9:30. Before I had Landon I would have been there until they kicked me out. The margaritas were fantastic and there were a lot of people there I wanted to visit with that I hadn't seen in a while. Hence the title of this post.... sacrifice. I knew my baby needed to come home and go to bed. So I said bye to everyone "it was nice seeing ya (for 5 minutes!)" I have a child that lives and dies by his schedule and Lord help us if we veer off track. I know... those of you who know me well know that I need my sleep too! I have only myself to blame :) He's worth every ounce of fight he puts up!

His stitch popped open Sat. It's a little creepy looking for those who aren't used to seeing yucky medical stuff. The conformer they attached his muscles to really fills out his socket. It doesn't look near as empty as it did before they removed his eye, which sounds really strange. I can't wait until he gets his prosthetic!

Have a great week!

All better!

Bug's post op visit went well. Jeremy informed Dr. Yen of our very distressfull evening the day of surgery and he was surprised. He said he didn't expect that Landon would be in that much pain and he apologized. He understood each child is different he said, but that he shouldn't have had that much pain. Well I wish I could have had him lug my baby's 30 pound self around for 12 hours with no break while he screamed and thrashed in his arms! Actually he was very nice about it, but I still think they should admit children that can't verbalize how much pain they're in. At least for one night!

His patch didn't quite make it the full 4 days. He drenched it in the bath tub on Saturday night. Me being the germaphobic nurse/mom that I am, decided to take it off so the nasty "bug" bath water wouldn't get it infected. The swelling was pretty significant the next morning but that was to be expected. The whole idea of the patch was to decrease the swelling. Dr. Yen was fine with it and we are moving right along. We go back in 3-4 weeks to see him and he'll say whether or not we're ready to go see Robin the occularist again!

Other than that, we finally got a break from the hot weather and humdity! It feels like fall. Supposed to be in the 40's in the morning when I get off and I am super excited.

We took Bug and his cousin Hayden to the zoo on Wed. They were adorable together! They rode in the wagon we borrowed from Miller and held hands. They loved all the animals and then at the very end we discovered there was a little water park where the water squirted up from the ground at all different spots. They were DRENCHED from head to toe! Landon had more fun at that zoo trip than he's ever had before. We called it a day after that and he crashed in the car.

We are doing well. Just hanging out and spending time together. I love my family to death. There is nothing else I would rather do or anywhere else I'd rather be than with my two boys! Thanks for keeping up with us. Zoo pictures to follow!!

Rough ending!

 Let me preface this post by saying this surgery was waaaay worse than what we were expecting. Our baby hurt like I have never seen him hurt before. And it broke me. That being said we are so incredibly glad it is over. So let me get to the details....

He did fabulous during surgery. No unexpected problems. Dr. Yen mentioned how incredibly small his eye had become already. He said that was not unusual either. We waited an incredibly long time for them to take us back to recovery to see him. It started to make me very nervous so we asked what was taking so long. When they finally took us back they asked us not to touch or stimulate him because he was still very out of it. Boy was he! So we sat with him for a while until they really woke him up. Even after that he was really good. About 30 minutes after he woke up he quickly became inconsolable. We tried everything to distract him. When none of that worked we gave him Tylenol with Codeine. When that didn't work we gave him Morphine. Finally we were able to get some milk down him and they sent us home. We were in recovery for about 3 hours. That's a long time for him. The real problems started at home...

2 hours after the Morphine he became inconsolable again. So we got his Lortab filled and gave him a dose of that. So by now he has a lot of narcotics in him; and he's still inconsolable. I could not stand to see him like that any more. He wanted me to hold him, but not touch him. Walk with him, but not sit down. He would sleep for 2 minute intervals and then cry hysterically. This made me call the physician on call and she told us to head back to the TCH Er. Thank goodness I work there. We were in a room in about 30 minutes. I was so incredibly greatful since the wait there can be up to 10 hrs at times. After forever they finally put in an IV started him on fluids and gave him IV pain medication throughout the night. It was a very unexpected stay. Not to mention uncomfortable. We were almost at 24 hours awake before we were finally able to get some rest. We were very unprepared for the pain he experienced. I know that each child is different but this was Landon's 6th time under anesthesia and they kept trying to say that that was what was causing him to act like that. Mommy knows best. 

All in all it was a horrible experience. But we are so incredibly glad that it is over. They discharged us at about 10 this morning after they saw him running down the hall in a toy car. He woke up and had 2 sippy cups of milk, 1 1/2 bananas, and a whole hash brown from McDonalds for breakfast. He was starving after not eating for so long. Despite all of this he has been wonderful today. He's back to my baby Bug! I have never seen a baby struggle like he has this year and bounce back so vivaciously. His little smile just lights me up inside. He is truly my  little hero. 

So we head back to his doctors office on Monday. His patch is huge as you can see. He has already found a way to get his finger in there behind it. Sneaky little thing! The patch should come off on Monday as long as he doesn't get it off first. He's been really good with it so far. The stitch they put in to hold his lids together should stay until it dissolves in about a month. We will start talking to the occularist soon to set up an appointment to make the mold for his eye. I am so super excited about that. Thank you to those who have been praying with us and for us over these last several months. You'll never know the appreciation we have for you. Keep the prayers coming. We can never have enough! 

less than 8 hours..

So here I sit at work waiting to get off to attempt to go home and get some sleep before Bug's big day tomorrow. I agreed to work for someone for 4 hours prior to knowing his surgery date. Then I figured it wouldn't matter because I probably won't sleep anyway. Last night we met at our friend's house from church and our wonderful lifegroup prayed for us and Landon. It was awesome and whenever the little anxiety bug starts to eat at me, I think of all of the amazing prayers that went up in his name and I feel more peaceful.

I'm sitting here thinking of all of the hardships that we have gone through this year. It FINALLY seems to be coming to an end. God continues to show us new things each day about our lives. I am truly excited for where our next journey in life will take us. Now that we have learned how to rely completely on Him, i know we can get through anything.

So it should take about an hour to remove his eye. It amazes me that it only takes an hour to remove an organ, no matter how small that organ may be :) I am hoping to be home by 1 or so. I am going to take our camera so I can snap a few pics of him in his wagon ride to the throne (or the operating room). I'm not usually the cheesy camera mom with things like this but it's a big day for our Bug! I will post as soon as I get the chance. I'm sure I will try to nap at some point tomorrow. He always seems to be VERY clingy after surgery. As understandable as this is, it can be very trying after several days. Please pray for zero post-op discomfort. The surgery assistant said today that the big thing we will notice is bloody tears. That is because even though the eye is gone, the tearducts still hydrate the socket. She also said that they use some pretty strong numbing medications on the muscules that they have to manipulate so he should be okay for the first couple of days. Post-op pain is ALWAYS the worst on day 2 or 3. So please be in prayer about that.

We are so ready for this to be over. And soon, it all will be. We love you guys. Thanks for following and praying with us. If your awake at 9:30 tomorrow morning, say a little prayer for our Bug as he ascends the throne! (operating bed)

4 days and counting...

So it's been a good week. Landon has played hard and enjoyed the nice weather. He has kept us very busy chasing him all around the house. He has discovered a new word he likes... "teeth." With his ultra obsessive behavior towards his toothbrush this is no big surprise! My mom also taught him a new phrase.. "I eat!" but it sounds more like "Ah eeeeeaat!" It comes out very country twang-ish. Oh yea I forgot to mention his other new word.. "Bible" aka "Biiiiiii-bul!" You gotta love the emphasis. I guess he finally picked up this word since we are constantly using it to try to exercise the demons out! HEE HEE just joking folks!

So Jeremy is super excited since the Horns spanked the Sooners! This makes me very happy as well since I don't have to watch him sulk all week long. Actually since I worked Friday night I missed the game and I was bummed. I slept right through all the hoopin and hollerin' from the living room. He and Landon had on their matching UT jerseys and they were pretty cute. When I woke up and got ready for work they decided to replay the game between the two of them in my living room. If that is any preview as to what rough housing will look like in several years... I'm building an outdoor arena in our back yard! It was adorable to watch them.

So 4 more days until D-day! We are trying to stay positive to keep the anxiety at bay. Or maybe just I am. Lots of things going through my mind. I won't bore you with them. Just remember us this week and pray for my baby! We're almost finished with this hellacious year and we are all too excited about it. We'll keep ya posted as we move forward this week. We love yall!

My desire

The post below is from an interview with Rick Warren. If you have not read The Purpose Driven Life, I highly recommend it. His words and viewpoint in this interview are my heart's song. I can feel God pushing us toward this way of thinking despite all we have been through this year. Enjoy~


Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE 'PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE')
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD....Every moment, THANK GOD.

We have liftoff...Almost!

We finally have the day pinned down for Bug's surgery. We are scheduled at 9:30 on October 16th! We have to be there by 8 so that's not near as bad as being there by 6 as in the past. I am very excited yet there are anxious feelings too that I'm not quite sure about. Not sure where they're coming from or what they mean. As I've mentioned, I've wanted this for months but now that it is drawing closer I feel unexplainably uneasy. I'm sure it will pass. 

We are hoping to have his new prosthetic in time to have Christmas pictures made. If not, then we'll have them made anyway! The plan is to sew the eye lids shut for about 6 weeks post-op and then proceed with the prosthetic. It should be a fairly easy ordeal to have the prosthetic made since the occularist knows Landon and has already worked with us before. I was looking at pictures of Bug before his accident a couple of days ago. I posted it to his site because I wasn't sure if I was the only one who forgot what he looked like before his accident. My sweet boy has suffered this year. We have as well, but God is mighty and sovereign and we are glad to be resting in His arms.

On a funny note, my mom picked up Landon's Halloween costume. He is going to be a pirate! Oh how I cannot wait to post the pictures of him in it. We tried it on this afternoon and although he fought me, he was truly adorable. I wanted to eat him up! He was not happy about wearing it until we laughed and clapped and made a big deal about him. Then he thought he was the cat's meow! 

Please be in prayer every day about Landon's surgery. For him  and for us. This is a big ordeal and we've pushed through a lot to get here. This worst case scenario has turned out to be something that we want and long for. Pray for it daily & for us; that every aspect of the surgery from pre-op to post-op will be perfectly placed in God's hands and we will have peace and be drawn to God through all of this. We love you all dearly. Thank you for loving our baby with us!

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy!"

Job 8:21

"For I know the plans I have for you ," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you  hope and a future!"

Jeremiah 29:11

Ike Ike Baby!

Well, we have survived. Ike blew through over a week ago and it seems like just yesterday. Our hearts go out to the people who had such horrible destruction of their homes and lives. It serves as a constant reminder of how blessed we were (are). The only damage to our home was the gait to our fence is hanging by a hinge. No roof damage, broken windows, no water. We are truly blessed. We got our power back on Sunday evening. I really feel for those who still have no power. My aunt sent out a hillarious email about the frustration of being without power for 8 long days. I will keep her profanity to myself and smile to myself at all of her humor! We are thankful that she and my uncle let us stay there for 4 days until they lost power and we jumped ship to Dallas. What traitors we are!

On a positive note, the single most important thing I was worried about (after I found out we had no serious damage to our home) was Landon's rescheduling of his adenoid removal surgery. Of course we were due to have them removed Tuesday after Ike hit, but that did not happen. We called ASAP and had him rescheduled for Thursday. That is really good work on the ENT's side of the coin. To reschedule him 2 days later was fantastic! So he had surgery this past Thursday and came through with flying colors. He had a little post-op fever on Friday that had me worried but Saturday he was a wild maniac yet again and hasn't stopped since. In order for him not to get really upset when they take him back to the OR, the nurse wheels him back in a wagon. We've done this before and he really likes it, but this time the child life specialist paraded him with an array of bubbles on his way back. He looked like a prince in his little yellow jammies and bubbles flying all around him. He never even noticed we slipped away. This is one of the many reasons I prefer to have surgery at Children's. I think he already feels better. His little personality is just picking up tempo. His new word for the week is "leash." He walks around my mother-in-law's home with the leash trying to attach it to the dog's collar. It's funny. Of all the words! His appetite is finally picking back up as well. Maybe we can try to feed him something other than PB&J!

We should have his eye removal surgery pinned down for October. I am going to call his surgeon's office this week. I have dreamed for 6 long months of finally being finished with this child's eye! And it brings my heart great joy to know we are almost there. We will keep you updated on the following plans. We love you! Please continue to pray for those devestated by Ike!

Does it ever slow down?

Howdy! Hope everyone had a great weekend. I must start this post by saying I wish everyone reading this right now could have been at church with me on Sunday. We had the most fabulous worship EVER! And we didn't even have the words up on the screen like we usually do. There were some slight technical problems, but holy cow what great worship! That being said...

I called this morning and begged Landon's ENT (or her secretary actually) to squeeze him in sometime this week so that we could have his adenoids removed next week. She had nothing.. not a single open appointment for this week at either location she sees patients at. But I told her secretary the problem and she said if we will keep our appointment for Monday then she would go ahead and pencil us in for surgery on Tuesday! Now that is what I call customer service! I'm sure his ENT will be surprised when I tell her on Monday that we already have a surgery date and she doesn't even know what we're coming in for :) That's how we roll!

If anyone has any ideas how to keep my child's inner "monkey" from evolving please let me know. Everytime I turn around he is standing on top of SOMETHING! Recently this week it is the kitchen table (glass), the end table in the living room, and the toilet. Not the lid, the top of the tank. He has this obsession with his toothbrush and toothpaste. I would love to brag on myself and say that he just enjoys brushing his teeth, but really he just enjoys sucking the bubble gum toothpaste off of the toothbrush. Lord, help me!!

A couple of weeks ago I was volunteering in his class at church and my cousin brought his little girl who is 4 months younger than Landon. After that morning, I was so jealous. She just sat there and played with her blocks and ate goldfish and looked at Landon like he had horns. (sometimes I think he has horns...and a pitchfork!) Little girls are so different; so calmn, relaxed and just roll with the flow. Not me. I have a boy! And man is he a wild mess. But he's our wild mess.

I'll update again before his surgery. Please be in prayer that the 16th (next Tuesday) will be our lucky day. We need to move forward with his eye and this is one step in the right direction. We love yall!

No can do!!

So, my baby had his appointment yesterday. Turns out his plastic surgeon won't touch his eye with a ten foot pole until he has his adenoids removed. His reasoning is the risk for infection is far too great. So he will have to have his adenoids removed first and then when he is healthy and off antibiotics he will remove his eye. I was not happy to hear this but can totally understand. The last thing I want is for my child to have ANOTHER overwhelming infection.

His plastic surgeon did agree to do his eye removal at TCH and that made me happy. They should know us on a first name basis by the end of the year :) All kidding aside, I will be happy when this is all over. How many times have I posted that on this blog? Surely not as many as I have thought it to myself.

I added the cute little "classic children's book" gadget to the blog because I love to read and I love classic children's books. I prayed when I was pregnant with Landon that he would love books like I do. I think he does and I am greatful until I have to read "Noah and the big boat" 117 times without a break. He really loves animal books too. Those are probably his favorite. When I asked him what he did at school on the first day of mother's day out....."boops" aka: books!

He started mother's day out this past Tuesday. Jeremy and I slept terribly the night before. It's not like we were sending him off to college here. Just mother's day out for heaven's sake! Still we slept awful and worried about him the whole time he was there. Turns out he had a fabulous time! He came home in a fantastic mood, just playing and beboppin around, talking to himself. The biggest shocker... he took a nap. For those of you who know my kid... he sleeps in a crib and only in a crib, in a semi-dark quiet room. (exactly how I sleep minus the crib). So to hear that he took a nap on a yoga mat with his little pillow and blanket blew me away. He also slept longer than any other baby in the class. He may look like his dad folks, but he is his mother's child through and through!

Job 1:21-22

Landon has an eye appointment this morning with his plastic surgeon. We are going to set up the date to have his eye removed. Please pray that several thing will fall into place. We found out last week, after many weeks of constant upper respiratory infections, Landon needs his adenoids removed. These are basically useless organs in your nasal area, a lot like tonsils. Why does God give you useless organs you ask... who knows. I guess they have some function that I am not aware of. Anyway,,, we are going to beg his ENT and his plastic surgeon to share the operating room so that we can minimize the number of times he has to go under anesthesia. If they do not he will be under 7 times in 6 months! That is a lot for a little guy! Heck, that's a lot for anyone!

The second thing is that his plastic surgeon will do his eye removal at Texas Childrens Hospital. That has to be accomplished before we can even begin to coordinate the two doctor's schedules. I want it done at TCH for several reasons, but the big reason being I get a 65% discount for being an employee there. That has helped tremendously with him having had so many procedures and surgeries there already. You don't even want to know what our insurance has billed the many doctors and hospitals already. Think close to 6 digits!

The third thing is the most difficult for me. I posted on here that I was pregnant with our second child and Landon was going to be a big brother. I miscarried 2 weeks ago at 11 weeks pregnant. I was devestated and crushed. Let me re-phrase. I AM devestated and crushed. There are good days and there are bad days. The bad days come when I am alone with just my thoughts. The good days are days I get to spend with my husband and baby boy. There have been many of those good days lately. I think God knew we needed some family time together. I cannot begin to understand what God has planned for us. I just keep trying to hang on for dear life. I keep trying to stay focused on Him and not my own suffering. I read the book of Job on the internet at work tonight ( I know; I wasn't working too hard :) But it put into perspective that bad things happen to good people, and I haven't done anything wrong to bring this upon myself. It makes for interesting reading if your trying to stand tall in a hurricane strength storm. Job prevailed and we will also. With LOTS of prayer (hint, hint). We love you all and have put a lot out there for you to pray for us about. Please know that we appreciate it.

"I came naked from my mother's womb and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. PRAISE THE NAME OF THE LORD!"
In all of this Job did not sin by blaming God."
Job 1:21-22

Bummed Out!

Well, I was quick to post how well Bug was doing with his shield. Turns out, not as well as we needed. Friday night he slept really badly. I could tell it was bothering him because every time I picked him up he would rub it on my shoulder. I obviously couldn't get it out at 2:30 in the morning by myself since Jeremy was at work so I decided that we would take it out when he got up the next day.

When we attempted that, things went south quickly. We fought with Landon for 20 minutes trying to get that stupid thing out. Held him down, pryed his eyes open forcefully and put the suction cup on the shield numerous times with no success. It was devestating to him, and to us. Jeremy's mom was there to help us hold him and got a first hand look at how traumatic it is. So I finally decided that was enough and we called the occularist at home. Thank goodness she gave us her home number. She came over and after a little difficulty removed the shield. We discovered we had accidentally turned it in a different direction when we were trying to remove it. After all that we decided that Landon has been through enough and we should just go ahead and have his eye removed. That will be the only way for sure that we will know he is not in any discomfort. I cannot continue to put him through this trauma. To look into his little blue eyes and see the fear everytime we come at him to hold him down truly causes my heart deep pain. I cannot and will not do it anymore.

We have an appointment with his plastic surgeon on the 27th of this month. I am going to call back and see if we can get an earlier date. I have a lot of emotions going on. I am dissapointed that the shield didn't work. It looked so good on him. I am frustrated that we are still dealing with this disaster 5 months later. And I am sad that I have put him through so much trauma over the last 2 weeks when we probably should have just had his eye removed when it was first presented as an option. But then I would have wondered if the shield would have worked. WHATEVER!! We'll have it removed and then FINALLY we will be done.

Your prayers are begged and appreciated. For Landon, for me, for Jeremy. We do sincerely appreciate them. I'm too tired to look for a scripture right now, but know that we have not lost our faith. God will take care of our baby and us. Thanks for following. We love yall.

Crossing our fingers...

So we were pretty busy this last week with Landon. We made several trips to the ocularist for fittings and trials with his shield. We have been working really closely with Robin (the ocularist) to fit him just right so that we don't add any uneccessary irritation to his eye. She has been wonderfully patient and even gave us her home number incase we had an emergency once we got home.

So Monday we had to practice taking the shield in and out. I cannot tell you how much I was DREADING this. And I'm a nurse for heaven's sake! It is SOOOO different when it's your own baby. Now remember this takes three people to hold him down and take the shield out and put it back in. Well for the first time ever, I wasn't able to do something medical and my husband was. I COULD NOT get that stupid shield out and the more I tried the more frustrated I became. So Robin ended up taking it out for me and then it was Jeremy's turn to put it back in and take it out. He did great. I was much better at holding Landon. I like the comforting part. So, I have decided that it will be Jeremy's primary job to take the shield in and out when we need to. I just flat out refuse to do it! My nursing friends would be appalled!

So cosmetically Robin has done an amazing job. The colored part of the eye just needs to be turned in a hair and it is done. He looks GREAT! It has only been 5 months that his eye has begun to shrink so drastically. I can't tell you how different he looks with both of his eyes open and bright. It does my heart good. I just sit and stare at him. Now it doesn't move with his other eye but that's okay. Just to have his lids open is great. I will post pictures of him as soon as we get the final product. The color is dead on!

We are so proud of Landon. He has been throug the ringer. We are hoping the shield only has to come out once a week to be cleaned. We go to see Dr. Holz on the 22nd of August. I am anxious to see what he will think of Bug's new eye. God is good and we are standing in faith that this will work for Landon permanently!! Your continued prayers for him are appreciated. Thanks for checking on him.

The ocularist

So we met the ocularist on Monday afternoon. She's really great. The process of fitting Landon with this scleral shield has been a bit traumatic for us both. Robin, the ocularist, informed me that my son is "abnormally strong." Yea, tell me something I don't know. When she went to fit him for the shield, he squeezed his eyes shut so tightly she had to pry them open with her hands to get it in. This was a three person job! And we had to do it 8 times; 4 times to put it in, 4 times to take it out! By the end of the 3 hour appointment we had had it. We had all hit our limit (my mom included) and were ready to get out of there. Robin was very patient and did a lot of work in one day. 

So we went back this morning and put it back in. In the meantime she had painted it to match his good eye. The color match she did was amazing! She put just a tiny hint of too much green in it but other than that it was a total match. She had to take it out and will have to move the iris over some because its too far in so he looked a little cross eyed with it. But we go back Monday to make the final fit and hopefully finish the process. Our main concern is that his eye will be too sensitive. We will have to just watch him for this since he can't tell us if it hurts. He did a little better today but still a 3 person job to get it in and out. Poor Bug!

On another note, I went to my first OB appointment yesterday and the baby is measuring 2 weeks smaller than my dates are calculating. Also, I have a subchorionic hematoma (google please). So we will go back in 2 weeks and check things out by ultrasound. Please keep Landon and his new sibling in your prayers. Have a blessed weekend. I will let you know how his eye turns out on Monday and hopefully post new pictures of our little man with his new prosthetic!

"Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ."

Romans 10:17

Update

Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I've posted an update. It has been a wonderful couple of months. Landon has been strolling around and cruising like the wild man that he is! We have been enjoying his energy, although at times he wears us out! His favorite thing to do is push his little car and his wagon around the cul-da-sac every evening when we water the grass. He also likes the ice cream truck :)

We do have an update on his eye. Dr. Holz sent us to an ocular plastic surgeon this past Friday. (he does plastic surgery just on the eyes). His name is Dr. Yen and he is WONDERFUL! He was great with Landon and got down on the floor and gave him a high five. I really appreciated this since Landon is now so scared of medical people. We call it the "white coat syndrome." Anyway, he was pretty confident that we should not wait until pre-K to fit Landon for a scleral shield ( the hard plastic contact like device that fits over his eye to give him more volume). He was also fairly surprised that Dr. Holz had recommended waiting. My personal opinion is that Dr. Holz has taken a liking to my little boy and is holding out all hope for a future "cure" for Landon's lack of vision. We on the other hand are more worried about our son's face being symmetrical and are ready to do something about it. His face is fine now! But as the eye continues to shrink his bones around his eye may not grow properly. So Dr. Yen is sending us to an ocularist to try Landon with the shield.

The not so great news is that although he is willing to try the shield, he is not confident that Landon's eye will tolerate it. Some days he has good days with his eye and other days you can tell it is irritated and driving him crazy. So he thinks in the long run we will probably have to surgically remove the eye and get him a prosthetic eye. This is okay except for that one little word....Surgically! We absolutely HATE putting him through surgery. It pains us more than him I'm sure but it still stinks! It is just outpatient surgery, but his lids will be stitched together for 6 weeks afterwards. I really just want to get all of this done before he goes to kindergarten. I don't want other kids to make fun of him or stare. I'm sure they will already do that when he starts mother's day out next month. Especially if his lids are stitched shut!

So that is where we stand. Just when we thought we were all finished torturing my baby! Another surgery is hanging over our heads. But all will be fine. He is truly the strongest little man I know.

One more thing, for those of you who don't know already, he's going to be a big brother in March!
We are super excited. He is going to be a great big bubba! Thanks for following our journey. We love you all.